This is a parody page, a tribute to Florida Marlins left fielder and occasional first baseman Logan Morrison, who joked on Twitter that he has a pet silverback gorilla named Mr. Dimples living with him in his condo. Morrison has nothing to do with this page or what appears on it.
The writer of this page and the accompanying Twitter handle does not know Morrison, has not met him, doesn’t know where he lives and doesn’t throw keg parties when Morrison is on road trips with the team.
The intention of this page and the Twitter feed is strictly good-natured fun. LoMoDimples is a PG, PG-13 gorilla. Please refrain from profanity and explicit sexuality. Suggestiveness is fair game and double entendres are most, most welcome (for example, if I say that bananas ruin cherries, I’m just talking about the way the flavors mix in a fruit salad, and SHAME ON YOU for thinking otherwise).
Some frequently asked questions:
Q: What’s the deal with Dimples and Spam?
Someone accused Logan Morrison of spamming his new followers with automated DMs. He wrote back that Spam is good food, but bad tweeting. I ran with it. Dimples loves Spam (which has an intoxicating effect on him, by the way).
Q: What’s the deal with LoMosZoo? Can anyone get in?
A bunch of people created various LoMo accounts over the spring shortly after I created the Dimples account. Some have stuck around, others pretty much disappeared.
Q: What’s the deal with you and
Leo Nunez Juan Carlos Oviedo?
Nothing. We all know Leo Nunez was dreadful in the 2010 season. As the 2011 season got underway, I decided to stop dreading his appearances and start rooting for him. A lot. The #IBelieveInLeoNunez was intended to be a rallying cry, and for a while there, Leo was living up to it. It became fun. Then came the #LeoCoaster (not my creation: there’s a 99.9% likelihood that the Twitter user @BoobiesnStanton came up with that one. He’s pretty sure it was his idea, and no one else has claimed credit).
Anyway, Leo either got lucky the first half of the year or he got worse the second half. I confess, I jumped off the bandwagon in late August, right about the time he started blowing consecutive saves and turned the LeoCoaster from a joke to a dire (and reliable) prediction.
The business about the fake name and his real identity being Juan Carlos… still trying to wrap my head around that.
When the Miami Marlins signed Heath Bell as our new closer, I inaugurated the new hashtag: #IBelieveInMiamiHeath. It is currently suspended until Bell brings his ERA to a more respectable level.
Hope that happens soon.
Q: What is #JungleLove?
It’s a song from the soundtrack of the movie “Purple Rain.” [You won’t find it on the soundtrack album, but Morris Day and The Time released it on their own album, Ice Cream Castles]. When I started the Dimples account, I tried to think of an appropriate cheer for a gorilla. It was @VonGator who brought Jungle Love to my attention, and that sealed it. After experimenting with a few ways to tweet the recurring chant, I settled on the simplest: #OEOEO. It should be noted that while I came up with that on my own, I can’t claim it as original. If you search for the hashtag, you’ll find plenty of people using it who have nothing to do with me or Marlins fandom.
Q: Are you on Facebook?
Yes. Check out my page here: http://www.facebook.com/lomodimples.
Q: Who are you?